quick update

I went to hospital this morning for some monitoring and bloodwork.  Baby looked great on NST, he’s a feisty guy and really hates the monitors but we nail him down long enough to get some good tracings it just takes a while. Sweetlove was the same way when I did the NST’s with him, the nurses would say I’m in for it, and true enough, he’s such a little spitfire.  Anyways, that’s the good news.  The bad news is my BP was up to 190/95 and protein was +1, not sure what the lab analysis was, I didn’t even ask. They let me go home on strict orders to watch for symptoms and not move a muscle, ie strict bedrest. Easier said than done but with pressures like that, I need to be better at this. I go back on Friday and I have a feeling this weekend might spell the end and the beginning all at the same time, if you know what I mean! I’ll be 35 weeks on Saturday, I really want to make it until then. My best friend came over yesterday and organized the closet in the nursery for me since I am now unable to do it, and she helped me pack my hospital bags too.  My mom made us some home made lasagnas for dinners and I’m eating some now as we speak, it’s so nice to have family and friends around to help.  We are very lucky.

I’ll update again at the next turn of developments!

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October 1, 2008 at 5:07 am 4 comments

sprung!

Luck was on my side with this one! After 24 hours of monitoring – NST, bloodwork, urine labs, etc. everything came back NORMAL and negative for protein or any signs of preeclampsia – just PIH at this point. Doc thinks the dip I did in the office was a contaminated sample. I am sooooo relieved.  He let me come HOME yesterday afternoon and I am to be on strict bedrest and come back to the hospital for monitoring again on Tuesday.  So he’s still keeping me on a tight leash but I’m just so glad to be home, in my own bed. I’m taking BP meds that make me really dozy right now but it’s not like I have anything else to do but sleep when I feel like it. I just want to get to 36 weeks. Longer if I can but 36 weeks would feel awesome.

So thanks for all your prayers, they are working!

September 29, 2008 at 7:00 am 2 comments

damn it – 34 weeks & hospitalized for the duration

Well, looks like my luck has run out my friends. This post is going to be really disjointed, I’m so tired and out of it.  I went to my OB appt yesterday knowing things were going sideways because my pressures have been steadily increasing over the past week and the swelling is now in my face and hands so I took A with me just in case it was more than just my usual appt.  My BP was a hefty 150/95 (a huge increase from previous weeks) and I’m spilling +2 protein. Preeclampsia it is. He sent me home to pack my bag and go directly to the hospital. I was admitted right away and I’ll be here for the duration it looks like. I’m 34 weeks today so I’m in a good place and baby is happy (did an NST last night) but I really want a few more weeks. It’s like déjà vu all over again. Same hospital, same nurses, same routine. I’m on BP meds 3x day, hopefully that should kick in soon. My urine last night at the hospital was negative for protein but the nurse said this disease jumps all over the place and these dips just aren’t reliable. I didn’t want A to leave me last night. My anxiety has kicked in and I’m a bit of a wreck. Sweetlove stayed at my in-laws overnight last night so A could help me get settled here and I’m looking forward to his visit this morning. I finally fell asleep around 2:30 AM and awoke at 5:00 AM, hospital beds suck the big one and these plastic pillows are useless for my SPD. We were in such a rush getting here yesterday I forgot my precious pillow fort. There are no comforts of home here that’s for sure. The food is shit. I remember it well and it hasn’t changed since my last stay that’s for sure! I called my mom and dad yesterday – they were at the lake recouping from my mom’s last chemo treatment (she’s in the throws of side effects right now and really weak) and told them what was going on. They were on the road home within an hour, it’s a five hour drive. I hate alarming them like this but she’s excited a new grandbaby is coming and its keeping her mind off the cancer for a bit which might be good? Doctor is thinking a week maybe two if we’re lucky before this baby needs to come out. Sweetlove was born at 36w0d and he roomed in with me and came straight home so hopefully we’ll get as lucky with this one.  Looks like my dream of a VBAC is over too, oh well, I didn’t hold a lot of hope for that truly I knew things wouldn’t go that way. I don’t know how A is going to cope this week with taking care of Sweetlove all on his own, last time it was just me he had to worry about.  Oh well, we’ll manage. We’ve got lots of family around who I’m sure will step up.  First things first, let’s get this baby here safe.  Doc should be by this morning to let me know the results of all my labs and the plan going forward. I’ll update again later. Prayers!!!

September 27, 2008 at 6:15 pm 6 comments

32 weeks

Today marks a major milestone for me. it was 32 weeks last time that I was hospitalized with PIH and spent 4 weeks there until I was delivered at 36.  That 4 weeks changed my life in a lot of ways. I entered that hospital one person and left it a completely different person – not only because I left a “Mom”, but because it was a really challenging time emotionally (and physically) and I developed PTSD – including a crippling anxiety disorder that I still deal with today almost five years later.  A lot of guilt too. Two years of infertility wondering if this was my punishment for my pregnancy going wrong with Sweetlove.  A warning from God that I shouldn’t be attempting another pregnancy.  So to be here today, at 32 weeks, with a perfectly healthy pregnancy, blows me away.  Really and truly, I am feeling so blessed.  There is a healing in my soul, in a way I can not describe.  The idea that the universe throws you curveballs that might not always be your fault. For good and for bad.  And if I can get away with a birth experience that allows me to be present for the birth of my baby – that will make this whole journey so complete. 

So here’s to 32 weeks. At home, with my family, enjoying life and this miracle growing inside of me.  Something a lot of pregnant women take for granted, but I could never.  Each day is a blessing.

**

I had a growth ultrasound last Saturday and baby is measuring 4 lbs 6 oz – one week ahead of my due date.  Little chubber!

September 13, 2008 at 9:23 pm 3 comments

today i am 30

Every birthday, anniversary and gift-giving holiday my husband asks me this:  So, what do you want?”  He’s not the creative-romantic-thoughtful gift type in the traditional sense but he can make me a mean cup of tea, clean up the dishes like nobody’s business and father my son in a way that makes me tear up daily — so I love him just the same.  Anyways, for the past three years this has been my response to every single time he’s asked me this question. “A baby.  All I want is a baby.”  And he looks at me with a sadness in his eyes, “I’m trying honey.  I’m trying.” And we hug and look at Sweetlove and are ever so grateful for the blessing he is and what we do have. 

But TODAY, today on my 30th birthday, I can finally ask for something irrelevant and frivolous and not feel a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart that overshadows every birthday, anniversary and holiday for the last three years. Because I’ve got a baby in my belly and I feel more blessed, more fortunate, more lucky, more content than ever in my life.  The rest is just gravy.

August 30, 2008 at 12:53 am 5 comments

29 weeks

and i can’t really think of anything interesting to say! things are pretty much status quo – 29 week prenatal appt was good, i’m dealing with all the same aches and pains and baby is active as ever.  i’m looking forward to fall arriving because with this heat, my ankles and feet are swelling up to amazing proportions.

this coming friday i turn 30.  we are going to do dinner out with some friends.  my birthday present to myself (on saturday) is a 3D ultrasound of the baby at a fancy place downtown where we can see the baby’s face (i’m so excited about that) and take home a video of it for keepsake.

my grandma had a stroke last weekend so i visited her at the hospital today.  she’ll be ok but she’s got some neuro issues to deal with.  mom had her 2nd round of chemo yesterday and she’s feeling good so far but we expect tomorrow to be the tough day. 

i’m a boring blogger these days.  just wanted to update to say everything is OK and going well.

August 24, 2008 at 10:29 am Leave a comment

pain: welcome to 28 weeks

I’m starting to go a bit crazy with this lack of sleep mixed together with unending pelvic and hip pain.  Now it’s also shooting down my legs and when I walk I can hear clicking in my pelvis.  I spend the whole day trying to avoid positions that heighten the pain and the whole night trying to stand it so I can sleep, which is working less and less each day.  Getting in and out of the car is like torture.  Standing up or walking up stairs is terrible.  I’m pretty sure this is all symptoms of a condition called SPD which when I talked to my OB about he said physio is pretty much my only option and from what I’ve read it is pretty painful and doesn’t really help all that much.  At this point I sleep for about 20 minutes and then wake up in pain somewhere that keeps me awake forever – last night it was across the bottom of my uterus and I was afraid my incision was rupturing or something, but it was only when I moved onto my left side so that made me think it was a straining of the muscles or ligaments.  I have also noticed my baseline blood pressure has gone up 10 points on both the top and bottom and I am wondering if this trend is telling me the party is ending soon or is it the pain that causes the increase?  I don’t know.  I am just really frustrated that I can’t barely move or function and I’ve still got a ways to go.  I think the cumulative effect of not sleeping is making me feel even more grumpy about the whole thing too. 

Hurumph.

August 14, 2008 at 10:08 am 1 comment

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