32 weeks

September 13, 2008 at 9:23 pm 3 comments

Today marks a major milestone for me. it was 32 weeks last time that I was hospitalized with PIH and spent 4 weeks there until I was delivered at 36.  That 4 weeks changed my life in a lot of ways. I entered that hospital one person and left it a completely different person – not only because I left a “Mom”, but because it was a really challenging time emotionally (and physically) and I developed PTSD – including a crippling anxiety disorder that I still deal with today almost five years later.  A lot of guilt too. Two years of infertility wondering if this was my punishment for my pregnancy going wrong with Sweetlove.  A warning from God that I shouldn’t be attempting another pregnancy.  So to be here today, at 32 weeks, with a perfectly healthy pregnancy, blows me away.  Really and truly, I am feeling so blessed.  There is a healing in my soul, in a way I can not describe.  The idea that the universe throws you curveballs that might not always be your fault. For good and for bad.  And if I can get away with a birth experience that allows me to be present for the birth of my baby – that will make this whole journey so complete. 

So here’s to 32 weeks. At home, with my family, enjoying life and this miracle growing inside of me.  Something a lot of pregnant women take for granted, but I could never.  Each day is a blessing.

**

I had a growth ultrasound last Saturday and baby is measuring 4 lbs 6 oz – one week ahead of my due date.  Little chubber!

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

today i am 30 damn it – 34 weeks & hospitalized for the duration

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. canape  |  September 14, 2008 at 5:11 am

    You are an awesome mama. A powerful mama. I’m so happy for you and your 32 weeks.

  • 2. Alisha  |  September 17, 2008 at 10:57 pm

    That is such great news!!! Reading your post, I know exactly how you feel/felt!! A traumatic experience like that never leaves you. Anyway, very happy to hear that you’re PE FREE!! BIG HUGS!!

  • 3. Tigger  |  September 26, 2008 at 12:34 am

    Just checking in on you to see how things are going with you and your mom. 🙂 Hope all is as well as can be expected!

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