Archive for August, 2008

today i am 30

Every birthday, anniversary and gift-giving holiday my husband asks me this:  So, what do you want?”  He’s not the creative-romantic-thoughtful gift type in the traditional sense but he can make me a mean cup of tea, clean up the dishes like nobody’s business and father my son in a way that makes me tear up daily — so I love him just the same.  Anyways, for the past three years this has been my response to every single time he’s asked me this question. “A baby.  All I want is a baby.”  And he looks at me with a sadness in his eyes, “I’m trying honey.  I’m trying.” And we hug and look at Sweetlove and are ever so grateful for the blessing he is and what we do have. 

But TODAY, today on my 30th birthday, I can finally ask for something irrelevant and frivolous and not feel a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart that overshadows every birthday, anniversary and holiday for the last three years. Because I’ve got a baby in my belly and I feel more blessed, more fortunate, more lucky, more content than ever in my life.  The rest is just gravy.


August 30, 2008 at 12:53 am 5 comments

29 weeks

and i can’t really think of anything interesting to say! things are pretty much status quo – 29 week prenatal appt was good, i’m dealing with all the same aches and pains and baby is active as ever.  i’m looking forward to fall arriving because with this heat, my ankles and feet are swelling up to amazing proportions.

this coming friday i turn 30.  we are going to do dinner out with some friends.  my birthday present to myself (on saturday) is a 3D ultrasound of the baby at a fancy place downtown where we can see the baby’s face (i’m so excited about that) and take home a video of it for keepsake.

my grandma had a stroke last weekend so i visited her at the hospital today.  she’ll be ok but she’s got some neuro issues to deal with.  mom had her 2nd round of chemo yesterday and she’s feeling good so far but we expect tomorrow to be the tough day. 

i’m a boring blogger these days.  just wanted to update to say everything is OK and going well.

August 24, 2008 at 10:29 am Leave a comment

pain: welcome to 28 weeks

I’m starting to go a bit crazy with this lack of sleep mixed together with unending pelvic and hip pain.  Now it’s also shooting down my legs and when I walk I can hear clicking in my pelvis.  I spend the whole day trying to avoid positions that heighten the pain and the whole night trying to stand it so I can sleep, which is working less and less each day.  Getting in and out of the car is like torture.  Standing up or walking up stairs is terrible.  I’m pretty sure this is all symptoms of a condition called SPD which when I talked to my OB about he said physio is pretty much my only option and from what I’ve read it is pretty painful and doesn’t really help all that much.  At this point I sleep for about 20 minutes and then wake up in pain somewhere that keeps me awake forever – last night it was across the bottom of my uterus and I was afraid my incision was rupturing or something, but it was only when I moved onto my left side so that made me think it was a straining of the muscles or ligaments.  I have also noticed my baseline blood pressure has gone up 10 points on both the top and bottom and I am wondering if this trend is telling me the party is ending soon or is it the pain that causes the increase?  I don’t know.  I am just really frustrated that I can’t barely move or function and I’ve still got a ways to go.  I think the cumulative effect of not sleeping is making me feel even more grumpy about the whole thing too. 


August 14, 2008 at 10:08 am 1 comment

an interesting prenatal appt

I took A with me to my monthly prenatal appt (I still can’t get over that I only see him once every four weeks, last pregnancy I was literally in the office every.single.week for the duration).  A doesn’t normally come with me to appts because he doesn’t get paid if he’s not at work and with me on sick leave right now, we need every penny.  And he works 90 minutes in the other direction of my doc’s office.  But doc wanted me to bring him today because he wanted to discuss VBAC delivery vs. repeat caesarian.  Which is kind of funny to me — the idea that I will make it to term without complications and I get to *ahem* choose!  I’m just about 27 weeks now and my BP is still perfect.  And doc thinks we might make it to the end this way and in that case, why not try for a VBAC?  Well, look, I said, in that perfect world you are thinking of I’ll try, sure.  But honestly in my wildest dreams I don’t see it happening.  There’s still plenty of time for things to go sideways.  Still, its kind of nice to have the discussion like I might win the lottery or something.  And get this… I’m measuring 33 weeks.  That’s 6 full weeks ahead of schedule!  That can’t be right, even though I know I’m humungous.  The strange thing is that I weight less than I did last pregnancy and I have hardly gained any weight at all.  I’ve definitely redistributed the weight to around my belly for sure.  Anyways, doc wants a scan to check for growth in 4 weeks juuuuuust to be sure.  He doesn’t hold a lot of (excuse the pun) weight on this measurement anyways, its too unreliable he says.  So from now on since I’m in my 3rd trimester I will be seeing doc every 2 weeks. 

I am not sleeping at all anymore.  Well in short spurts.  The pain in my hips and pelvis is so bad at night when I’m trying to sleep that I go from my bed to the recliner and back and forth all night long.  Then I make up for the lack of sleep during the day because I’m so exhausted.  It’s a viscious cycle.  Other than that I am still randomly vomitting and the heartburn is wicked day and night, but overall I’m happy to be dealing with such benign issues.  I am feeling just so blessed to have avoided the dreaded PIH/PE so far.

My mom has had a tough week with the chem.o side effects.  She’s started losing her hair, developed painful mouth so.res, bone / nerve pain along with complete weakness that keeps her in bed and sleeping a lot.  Her mental attitude is amazing though, or at least it is when I am with her, and she’s very positive about the future and being able to complete treatment.  We talk or visit every day and when she’s up to it, she visits with Sweetlove who perks her up like nobody’s business. 

It’s soooooooooo hot here right now I’ve been escaping to my air conditioned bedroom a lot and finding the heat kind of unbearable.  I am normally a sun worshipper but these days, being in the sun feels kind of awful.  It must be my giganticness that doesn’t agree with the heat.  Anyways, Sweetlove is having the time of his life this summer and I’m living vicariously through him.

August 7, 2008 at 10:17 am 3 comments

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