big day tomorrow…

June 18, 2008 at 7:32 am 2 comments

I should be 20w2d tomorrow, according to my OB.  We have our level II ultrasound at 2:00.  I’m slightly terrified, I really need this baby to be healthy.  For his/her own sake, and for the fact that I couldn’t handle any more bad news right now. 

My whole family is a bit paralyzed by my mom’s diagnosis.  It seemed like she was doing OK and then yesterday she crumbled emotionally and in turn, I feel like i have as well.  The impending doom is just too much.  I have a lump in my throat and a tightness in my chest that I can’t shake.  Ugh, I can’t even describe in words how awful this is.

I went to visit a few daycares today, trying to find a place for Sweetlove now that mom can’t take care of him during the day.  He’s never been in daycare.  Most he’s had is preschool 2 hours x 2 / week.  He’s old enough now though that I feel OK about it.  Just shitty about the situation and no place is as good as Grandma’s.  And I’m not biased either.  My mom is the world’s best care provider for a small child.  She never turns on the TV, she teaches him things every day, reads to him, takes him to swimming lessons, preschool, the park, you name it.  And the priceless love of his Grandma.  He’s had a lucky 3 years of her influence.  I credit her for his brilliance (not that I’m biased) and his love of reading.

Wish me luck tomorrow.  I’ll update afterwards with hopefully some news of the gender as well.

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

learning to dance in the rain all is well in the ute

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. canape  |  June 18, 2008 at 9:58 pm

    Jen, I wish that I could be right there and hug your neck. The happy-sad is so hard.

    Your mom has a ton to process with her diagnosis, and you do too. It probably seems silly for me to say this now, but I’m going to anyway.

    You will both be alright.

    If anyone I have met online knows how to have HOPE, it is you.

    I’m thinking of you both.

  • 2. Chas  |  June 19, 2008 at 2:53 am

    Good luck with your appointment!

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