Archive for May, 2008

beginning to feel… dare i say it… attached?

We didn’t go camping.  My dear husband didn’t think I could stand puking in a tent for more than two hours and feared I would make him pack up camp in the middle of the night – and he was probably right – knows me better than I know myself, I’m afraid.  So instead, we went to the lake – to our family cabin in the interior.  My whole family was there and the boys (Sweetlove and his little cousin) got to romp around on the beach and put sand up their noses, it was a nice weekend.  Grandma was in heaven with all her chickies there.  So I had a doctor appt on our way out of town on Friday, and A was able to come with me for the first time this pregnancy.  I was meditating in the car on the way there, trying to keep my blood pressure down and avoid getting anxious… when a car right in front of us in the other lane LOST IT’S WHEEL on the highway and bolts were hitting our windshield.  Ummm, yeah, so much for the calm, relaxed state.  Needless to say we survived and A swirved appropriately to avoid a collision.  When we got to the appt I was sure my BP would be high.  Well guess friggin what?  It WASN’T!  In fact, it was the lowest its been all pregnancy at my dr appts and I got a FOUR WEEK PASS !  That’s standard for most normal pregnant women but I’ve always been a 1 or 2 weeker max.  Doc thinks my BP is just fine and there’s nothing to worry about!  What?! Me!?! By this time last pregnancy I was off work for PIH and on BP meds.   So I don’t know what’s different, but I’m elated.  And for the first time, cautiously optimistic.  On a major high, we drove the five hours to the cabin and I managed to not puke once.  The gravol seemed to really help.  However I did throw up most of my meals at the lake, and the ride home I was not so lucky.  But it was so nice to get away for a few days and breathe in the mountain air.

Oh, and at the dr appt – my dr took out his doppler to find the heartbeat (it was the first time he’d tried) but was unsuccessful in finding it.  I didn’t mention to him that I have rented a doppler for home and we’d heard the heartbeat the night before.  Oops.  I hate holding it back from him, but he already thinks I’m neurotic and I really didn’t want to reinforce that.  So he offered me an ultrasound this week to check the heartbeat just to be sure.  How could I turn that down?  So I went to the hospital maternity ward tonight and met him there for a quick check.  The baby has grown a lot since the last time, in fact it looks like a real baby now!  I have to say, it made it a lot more real for me.  Seeing the little legs kicking and the hand waving.  And being back in the maternity ward where I had Sweetlove, the same nurses there, the same halls I stared out at for weeks.  It was like holy shit, I’m having a baby.  I’ve been feeling the baby move a lot now, mostly when I eat – it’s a nice feeling.  All of this together – feeling the baby move, my BP behaving and making me feel a little less freaked out, seeing the baby tonight, coming out of the “fatigue” fog and getting some energy back, being back in the hospital… it’s just hit me what’s happening and how lucky I am. 

We’re having a baby.  We are so blessed.  And damn it, I’m invested. 


May 23, 2008 at 10:34 am 2 comments

mother’s day

I woke up in the middle of the night with a migraine and knew today wasn’t going to go as planned.  I took some xs tylenol with caffeine at 6:30 when I could stand the pain no longer and it barely dulled the piercing in my left eye.  My husband and Sweetlove brought me breakfast in bed at 9:30 with roses and a very cute card that Sweetlove picked out himself.  I had planned a nice lunch with my mom and brother today but unfortunately by 11:30 when I was due to leave, the pain was too much and I just couldn’t do it.  I had lunch with my mom yesterday though and she totally understood – really I was mostly looking forward to seeing my brother who is a 4th year med student and we never get to see him anymore with his intern schedule being so crazy. 

Next weekend is a long weekend for us Canadians and like every year I book a campsite at a lake nearby and pray for nice weather – when most times we end up having to cancel because rain dominates the forecast in May in the pacific northwest.  We used to camp in the rain back in the day but now that those crazy days are well behind us, it’s fairweather camping only!  BUT ……… this year the forecast is remarkably calling for HOT and SUNNY all weekend!  It is going to be a feat for me since I’ve been out of commission for so long and still pretty sick but I can’t pass up this nice weather opportunity and really, we’re doing it for Sweetlove who is an “outdoors boy” through and through and will simply love the whole experience, so we’re doing it!  Ask me on Monday afterwards if it was a crazy idea! 

May 12, 2008 at 3:37 am 2 comments

officially 2nd trimester!

I find it hard to write posts lately because it has been the same thing for the last few months … I’m sick, I’m tired, I’m feeling like a hormonal bag of doggy doo.  And like I need to keep writing that every day?  So instead I’m going to write point form what is going RIGHT and what could be going BETTER…


  • I’m officially into my 2nd trimester… yay!
  • I am sleeping better for now – the acid in my throat has abated for a few days
  • I’m not NEAR as exhausted – the 1st trimester fatigue is lifting – feels good
  • I’m actually LOOKING pregnant now and people are noticing the “bump” so it feels more real
  • The vomitting has become much less, the nausea is way more tolerable
  • I’m able to take care of Sweetlove more again – giving him baths, doing the laundry, etc.
  • My work is being amazingly understanding about my situation and allowing me to work from home when I can and my paycheque is only slightly affected.
  • My blood pressure was “beautiful” at my last doc appt on Friday and it was at this point last time that I was put on BP meds so this makes me MOST ECSTATIC!
  • I’m starting to believe this might actually happen for us and it feels kind of… good?

Could be better

  • I have IBS and it has been in high gear these last few months – I go between total constipation and ridiculous diahrrea with nothing in between, ugh!
  • I am a burping farting machine … and I’m the girl who is always disgusted by anyone doing such rude behaviors around me.  It’s karma.
  • I thought by now the nausea and vomitting would have gone away but alas, I’m still dealing with it and while it is BETTER I still can’t do much – I am thankful it is better though.

We decided not to do the trip.le scre.en test for do.wn’s – I’m such a worrier and really, if this baby is dow.n’s it would not make a difference to us as far as continuing the pregnancy so why worry about it at this point?

It is driving me totally batty that I don’t have any proof of this baby being alive for the past 5 weeks though.  I rented a doppler but still can’t find the heartbeat myself.  Doc is going to check for it at my next appt but that’s not for another week and a half.  I guess its a good sign I am still full of symptoms but you just never know. 

May 5, 2008 at 7:15 am 4 comments

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