a week i’ll never forget…

March 15, 2008 at 4:53 am 2 comments

tomorrow will be one week since we found out the news.  it has been such a rollercoaster.  i’ve probably gotten 10 hours of sleep in the past week.  i don’t want to sound like i’m complaining though, because i am feeling blessed beyond words.  its just nothing like i envisioned it to be… how niave i was to believe i would get a positive test and all of a sudden the last two years of feeling broken and defeated would vanish and i would rise above like none of it ever happened?  i guess that’s not how it works.  every morning i wake up and it comes to me, my current state, this miracle growing inside of me, and i wonder how this could possibly be? when will i believe it? when will it stop feeling like i’m lying every time i say the words? 

i saw my family physician yesterday, both to give her the news and have her look at my sprained ankle.  she was elated for me, gave me a big hug and just kept shaking her head and how incredible it is.  i’ve been seeing her for 16 years now and through everything, she is truly the one person who i can’t pretend with.  she knows my anxieties, my fears, my emotional weaknesses, my physical shortcomings, everything.  anyways, she doesn’t want to treat this pregnancy like anything other than what it is – by having beta tests or too early ultrasounds – she probably knows it’ll give me more to stress over than probably necessary.   so i’ve got an ultrasound booked for apr 3rd.  i’ll be 7w5d and by then a heartbeat should be clearly visible, especially since i’m positive on my dates.

now if we can reach that date in my current state … i still can’t even envision it.

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

a journey of hope come full circle 5w2d

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. christina(apronstrings)  |  March 16, 2008 at 4:27 pm

    8 weeks and a h/b will be HUGE. it took us 2 years too and at nearly 15 weeks, i still can’t get over it.

  • 2. Judy  |  March 16, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    I remember that feeling of awe so well. Congratulations to you.

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