wake me up on the other side

February 20, 2008 at 11:02 pm 2 comments

Ok blog buddies, I haven’t been entirely honest with you. Things have been going on that I have been hesistant to say because, well, I’m not exactly sure. Somehow writing it down might mean marking my dreams on it and I am unsure as to how that may affect me? I dunno. Well anyways, here’s the goods.

We’re pursuing adoption.

There. I said it. Whew.

A and I have been discussing adoption over the past year quite a bit, but we really didn’t think we would be here, in this same place, like we are. Two years of trying and nothing to show for it except pain and heartache. I’ve always thought of adoption as a path I might take in life, way before I even got married. So when infertility reared its ugly head, it became not just an idea, but more of a real journey we might actually take. But A wasn’t so sure. He really did not expect for this IF to go on as long as it has, and he had to wrap his head around the reality of our situation – a bit of denial I think. And now that he “gets” it – this IF crap is real and its not going away – his feelings have really changed. We have had many long heart to hearts these past few weeks and while it has been emotionally exhausting, we have made some huge progress in where we are headed and what we are both prepared to do.

So we are at the earliest stage of compiling information – reference letters, application forms, etc. Our big meeting with the agency is this Friday. The sense of urgency comes from a new law that Bush signed in November that will change the face of adoption between Canada / US … after April 1st if you are not on the “waiting list” to adopt a child from the US (the only country other than Canada where we can adopt a newborn) you are sh*t out of luck. APRIL 1ST PEOPLE. Imagine my freak out when I saw that bulletin on an agency website last month. So if we intend on adopting a child and we don’t want to wait 500 years for one of the very few Canadian babies available, we need to get on that list, like yesterday. I’ve been busy contacting US agencies who will still deal with Canadian families (few and far between unfortunately, but the ones that are are definitely the more reputable ones with the most accreditations) and researching the ins and outs of what it means to adopt a child, who will most likely be bi-racial or of ethnicity different than ours. Many things to consider and we need to do this eyes wide open. A couple who are good friends of ours are following the same route and were just recently matched with a baby who will be born in a few weeks – and they were only waiting 15 weeks. This is through a US agency of course.

I also met with my OB/GYN today to discuss my horrendous periods and the possibility of maybe endometriosis causing the pain and maybe even the infertility. I’m at the point of even if I wasn’t TTC I’d be freaking out about this because I can’t live with these periods like they are. His take on it was that doing a laparoscopy might tell us that I have stage 1 or 2 endo but in the end, the case management is still the same. Hormones to stop the periods which in turn will for sure make me unable to conceive, or IVF to get pregnant and then deal with the pain afterwards. He doesn’t believe endo is causing my infertility for a few reasons – 1. he performed my c-section and said there was no sign of endo anywhere inside (something he checks for during each caesarian), and 2. even if I have developed endo it isn’t bad enough to cause infertility because my tubes are open and clear, as per my hysteropingogram. So, I’m sort of back where I started. No explanation and between a rock and a hard place.

We are leaving for Cancun in 8 days and the next week is crazy busy for us. Friday is the agency meeting, Saturday we have a wedding to attend, Sunday is both our 7 year wedding anniversary AND Sweetlove’s 4th birthday party at Chu.ckEChe.ese, Tuesday is his real birthday so we are having dinner and cake with some family, Wednesday we have dentist appts, Thursday drop off Sweetlove with his Grandparents to stay while we vacation, and Friday morning we leave for the airport at 4:30 in the freakin’ morning. Somewhere in there I need to pack and get organized for the trip. Oh, and I’ll be ovulating in a few days so we also have to have you-know-what every night this week!!! Yikes. Wake me up when I’m in Mexico!

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balancing act adoption meeting

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jackie  |  February 21, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Have fun!!!! I will keep my fingers crossed that everything works out….whatever it is…..however it works out. Enjoy Mexico and remember, don’t ever give up hope!!!!

  • 2. canape  |  February 22, 2008 at 2:39 am

    Oh, Jen! I am really excited for you. And proud of you too. I have been all the way through the adoption process – up to the point of waiting for a match. It is hard, but you are so strong and will do great.

    I can’t wait to hear more when you get back from what sounds like a fabulous vacation.

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