updates on so many things.

December 13, 2007 at 9:12 pm 3 comments

So I won 2nd place in the International Infertility Film Festival πŸ™‚ Very exciting I must say. Truly though, it feels good to know that other women going through this struggle are relating to my story and feel they are not so alone. I’ve got 1,000 views on my u.tube video already, and received such sweet comments from people. It was such a hard video to make, emotionally, but I’m so glad I did it So cathartic. Although, I have to admit its awfully painful for me to watch now, I can’t bring myself to watch it over. I will definitely share it with my next child one day when they are older, to show them how very much they were wanted and loved before they were even brought to life.

My mom is finally back from taking care of her own mom and as much as she hated to leave, she missed her grandchildren desperately and I can only imagine how difficult it must be to know you are needed in two places at once. Grandma has not been doing well – she was hemorraging out of the hole in her palette where they took some tissue and lost a lot of blood, then she got infection under the grafted skin on her face and now they are saying the tissues are dying and need to be removed and the surgery redone. It has been a rollercoaster these last few weeks for her, and I do hope and pray she comes through this soon, she has so much life left in her – I just can’t imagine anything else right now.

Repairing the friendship with my best friend has been slow but progress is being made. It’s hard but we’re both trying. There has been some damage to the trust and respect for eachother so it will take some time. This isn’t one of those times we can just pick up from where we left off; it goes so much deeper than that. I do miss her. I hope the holidays will bring us back together, at least somewhat. She’s the closest thing to a sister that I have. And she’s pregnant with her first baby, I hate missing those special moments of pregnancy with her.

Cycle wise, I am 6dpo and have been feeling super tired, super hungry, super PMS’y and I’ve got some nausea and cramping too – not something I normally get this early in the 2ww —- so maaaaaaaaayyyyybbbbbeeeee things will end differently this month? I highly doubt it but again, the hope is always glimmering. What a wonderful Christmas it would be…

A funny story for ya about Sweetlove. We were at a shoe store this week, one night after work, and I was trying on some work shoes, and he (bless his little heart) decided he would like to try on some high heels, strappy ones with glittery bobbles and all. Well, I thought, whatever will keep him busy while I find a pair is good with me. And his father wasn’t with us to poo-poo it, so what the heck. He picked out a few of his favorites and brought them over to me, and said, “Mama, I want to buy these for you. They are for you to go dancing.” I smiled and looked at these ugly beige things with 4 inch heels and gold dangleys, and said, “Well thank you honey. Maybe you can come back with Papa and show him what you’d like to buy for me?”

“OK, Mama” he said, “Shopping for shoes is fun! Being with you is the BEST Mama. I sure love you.”

OMG, my heart melted. He actually said that, with the pure, unadulterated honesty of a three year old. Now please tell me what is better than that?


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

december blues Ugh.

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Alisha  |  December 14, 2007 at 1:09 pm

    Nothing is better than hearing kind little whispers from your little one. Soooooo sweet! Brought a little tear to my eye.
    Sorry to hear about your Grandma…I hope she fairs well. Poor her! She’s in my prayers.

    Looking forward to the holidays…Santa will be here in no time!!! I’m sure Luka is busting at the seams with excitement! ;o)

    Ava doesn’t want Santa coming through the chimney to visit her house. Let’s just say she’s quite leary of the big man with the white beard. Tee hee.

    Crossing my fingers for you this month. ;o)

  • 2. maryellenandsteve  |  December 16, 2007 at 6:01 pm

    How sweet. I am so hopeful for you this month. Sounds good so far.

  • 3. Kirsten Eide  |  December 17, 2007 at 5:22 am

    I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandma, I hope she’s feeling better. Well done on the award, i’ve watched your submission quite a few times and I think you did a great job at capturing your emotions… and all of ours too!!
    Here’s hoping you’re still feeling sick πŸ™‚

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