i need comfort

May 2, 2007 at 5:17 pm 3 comments

Thanks for your well wishes on my last post, its nice to know I’ve got some great friends rooting for me!But I have to say…. I’m feeling kind of miserable this morning.

I was so proud of myself last night for being so brave with that needle, blah blah blah. Well my tricky mind got the best of me and I spent the entire night panicking that somehow this injection was going to kill me. I have a little problem that calls itself Anxiety, so I wasn’t too surprised by its recurrence, but wow… I haven’t been that wound up in months. I could feel the slight burning sensation where the needle went in, and then I manifested some breathing issue and felt like oh no, I shouldn’t be doing this, what am I doing, am I crazy? Who does this? Why can’t I just be happy with the one child I have? And the anxiety snowballed and I was up all night with the jitters.

And today all I want is something to comfort me, but nooooo….. I’m on this damn diet that I refuse to screw up, and when I get really stressed or upset I have the odd cigarette (I’m not a smoker, just a closet-when-I’m-falling-apart smoker, but still it’s embarrassing so don’t tell anyone ok?) but I don’t want to do that while I’m taking these drugs either. So I’m sitting at my desk, tired and cranky, wanting a cup of coffee (nope to that too) or something that tastes or feels good. And I thought I had no vices. Ha!

And I want this to be over, before it’s even begun. I’m such a w.i.m.p.

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RE Called. better today

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Mary Ellen  |  May 2, 2007 at 7:58 pm

    Oh I am so sorry that you are feeling anxious. Cycling can do that to you. Try to do something nice for yourself. Thinking of you. xx

  • 2. Becks  |  May 2, 2007 at 8:51 pm

    I started my stims injections yesterday for my first IVF cycle. I feel 1000 different emotions every hour of the day – I think its just normal.

    Hope the injection today has got easier for you.

  • 3. canape  |  May 2, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    Oh Babe. I’m so sorry. Nothing like unshakable anxiety to ruin your night and day.

    Vices? A cup of coffee and an odd cig? You are a good girl.

    How about a manicure or a pedicure? That is my “feel better” treatment.

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