Enough Already?

March 1, 2007 at 6:11 am 2 comments

My friend Canape (over at http://canapesun.blogspot.com) (*anyone who knows how to do those tricky links that say the word but links to the site, can you enlighten me?) anyway she went back to therapy today. I’m thinking it might be time for me to do the same thing. I had a good therapist last year who was helping me through the anxiety and panic attacks I was having when I was preparing to try to conceive again, you know, back when I thought the first time I had sex I would be pregnant? Yeah. Man was I the most niave person on this earth. So anyways, he helped me deal with anxiety from my pregnancy with L, the fear of dying, the guilt over missing his first months of life because I was a crazy person who couldn’t function because of the panic attacks. I could go on and on, but anyways – I had to stop seeing him when my extended medical reached its max for psychology services. So now that its a new year, my coverage is reset, and I’ve got a whole new set of problems (yay!) I am thinking it’s time to go back. I had really bad anxiety the night before last, the same day I found out about my friend at work with the pregnancy. I know things are getting bad when I can’t turn the light off because the darkness makes my throat close up. I know I could use a higher dose of my anxiety meds but I want to stay on the lowest dose possible, considering I may be pregnant soon. Ha. I can’t even say that with a straight face.

And my friend at work with the pregnancy that pushed me over the edge? SHE’S TOLD EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE AND DOESN’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT. We share a work area and if I have to hear about her “dizziness” or “upset tummy” one more time, I swear. If I have to hear her tell another person what an “oops” this was. I mean, from someone who has BEEN WHERE I AM, I’m more than a little surprised she’s acting like this. I seriously might have to find another job if I have to listen to this daily for the next eight months. There are three other girls in the office who are pregnant but I don’t have to work directly with them all day long so it doesn’t affect me so much. Oh well, what doesn’t kill you right? I am just so on the edge with my emotions these days, and I’m tired of running to the bathroom holding back another tearfest.

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Overcoming the Sting Finding Purpose

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Anonymous  |  March 1, 2007 at 3:52 pm

    I think going back to therapy is a great idea. As far as your co-worker is concerned, I’d be buying some duct tape. Doesn’t sound like she’s being overly sensitive where your feelings are concerned. Based on what you’ve written about her and how you’ve shared in good times and bad, I would have thought that she’d be discreet and more aware of your feelings. Sorry to hear that you have to deal with this on a daily basis. Try and stay strong and remember to allow yourself to FEEL whatever it is you’re feeling. Oh BTW 3M duct tape is the BEST…worked at 3M for a year and I highly recommend it. šŸ™‚

    Alisha

  • 2. canape  |  March 2, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    The mental image of the taped mouth coworker is so funny.

    I have another theory though. I think she feels guilty. And even though from your side it almost seems impossible – maybe she is continuing to emphasize the “accident” part of it because she feels so guilty.

    That probably helps none. And I’m certainly not excusing it at all.

    Keep going to the bathroom as much as you need.

    {{{hugs}}}

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