Archive for March, 2007

CD4

CD3 ultrasound went OK. The cyst is still there, looked a tiny bit smaller but I wasn’t clever enough to ask the dimensions at the time. It was quick, in and out, picked up my clomid from the front desk and off to work. The appt was at 7:30am and I normally start work at 8:00. I drove into work at 8:18! I was happy about that, the less this interferes with work the better. I considered whether or not to tell my boss the truth, but ended up deciding against it, the less she knows the better. I told her I was having minor surgery next week (which will be the IUI procedure day) and I had two prep appts beforehand for the surgery (CD3 ultrasound and CD10 ultrasound). I explained I would be back into work the next day after the procedure, and it would be in the afternoon so I would only miss a few hours work. She said basically that she hoped all goes well and didn’t ask further questions. Whew! I am thinking when the times comes that I have to do injectibles and increased monitoring (every other day) I will have to be more honest but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I realized when I opened up my prescription that I was given actual brand name “Clomid” and not the generic stuff I took the last three cycles. So maaayyyybbbbeeeee that will make a difference???? I will take any hint of that at this point. Plus I am taking 100mg rather than the 50mg I have taken the previous three cycles. I still didn’t ovulate by CD14 on the 50mg cycles, the earliest was CD20 where as non-medicated I “o” on CD26. So maaayyyyybbbbbbbeeeee 100mg will bring me up to CD14! This is my hope. Finding Hope. Anywhere. That’s me.

One of the reasons this is of concern to me is that we planned to go to the cabin with my parents for Easter. Easter stat is next Friday so we would leave Thursday night and come back Sunday night. What if I go to the CD10 ultrasound he wants to trigger Fri/Sat or Sun? Then we can’t go. But my parents have already said they’d like to take Sweetlove with them, which would actually be OK but we’d still rather all go. I am not going to stress about it though, that will not help the situation. In a perfect world, we would trigger Monday morning (CD 14) and IUI Tuesday afternoon (CD15). So that’s what I’m hoping for. A lot of hoping going on here.

Next RE appt: Thursday @ 7:30am. Grow follies grow! (and left ovary please, the right is out of service.)

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March 30, 2007 at 5:30 pm Leave a comment

CD1…again

My period came in full force at about 2:00 am.  Always nice to wake up in the middle of the night to a murder scene in your bed of white sheets.  I was semi prepared for it, but wow…. enough said.

 Cramps and back ached like a mo-fo today.   I was a bit of a cranky pants at work.  But I picked up Sweetlove from Grandma’s after work and we came home and played soccer in the street, build dirt castles and he road his bike for a bit.  It’s SO nice to finally have some sunshine, I can’t even explain it, it’s like the darkness has lifted outside and I just feel good.

My CD3 ultrasound is Thursday AM.  I will pick up my clomid from the clinic’s pharmacy and then time how fast it will take to turn into super bitch on this double dose of clomid.  I expect my next u/s will be CD10 (next Thursday) and then depending on how my follies look, we’ll plan the trigger and IUI. 

One of my best friends (IRL) started stimming for her IVF#2 cycle yesterday.   I hope the stars align for her and her hubby this time, she needs this to go right.

 Here’s a picture of Sweetlove and his little seven month old cousin after dinner on Saturday night 🙂 Sweeties!

cousins

March 28, 2007 at 2:03 am Leave a comment

Triphasic Shmyphasic

This cycle was a bust.  Multiple negative HPT’s, temp is down to my coverline and I’m spotting. Now I just wish AF would arrive, she’s been knocking for a few days and she’s Late! It’s now two days late and it’s still just b.a.r.e.l.y. a spot. Argh. I just want her to COME so I can call my RE and schedule all my CD3 testing. Now… can you all explain to me what a CD3 ultrasound is like when you are bleeding out the same place where the probe goes in? Sorry, but I am having a hard time making this less seem any less than disgusting. Why can’t they just do it from the outside?????????

My therapy for feeling sad is to go to the grocery store by myself and wander the isles for a few hours, reading labels on strange foods. I load ingredients into my cart to cook a made-up recipe of some combination of who-knows-what, and then make my husband and Sweetlove eat it for dinner. I did that yesterday. It was nice. Something about a quiet grocery store on a Sunday morning that makes me feel good. I’m so weird.Hope has arrived for the next cycle. It came this morning as I was getting ready for work. It bonked me on the head and said, wake up sister, this is a new cycle and we have a whole new set of percentages to work with! No more 3% success rate for a natural cycle. We’re working with 15-20% now!

Clomid/Trigger/IUI here we come.

 

March 26, 2007 at 9:30 pm 1 comment

11 DPO, Goldfish & Prayers

Got a lovely Triphasic message on my chart today. My first triphasic chart! I hate to even say that it might mean I could possibly be pr_ _ _ _ _ _t. I hate to even mention it. But it does up my chances. And I’ve had the highest temperatures of all my charts so far. As for symptoms? I’ve had sore bb’s and lower back ache for the entire 2ww so far.  That is a bit strange. I would love love, love, love for this to be my lucky cycle.  Like, do I even have to say that? I feel like such a broken record these days.  In other news… 

My best friend gave my son a goldfish (complete with tank and food) for Christmas. Very sweet. My son named him, oh so creatively, “Goldyfish”. Just like his favorite truck is named Truck, and his favorite teddy bear is named Bear. So Goldyfish lives a tiny little triangle tank and the poor thing spends the entire day and night banging his poor little snout (what is a fish’s mouth called anyways?) against the corners of the tank, with barely enough room to swim.  He’s grown quite a bit since he came to live with us. And I feel so sorry for him. So today after work I’m going to pick up Sweetlove and take him to the pet store to pick out a bigger tank and a buddy for Goldyfish. I’ve grown a little fond of the fishy and he deserves a decent life, especially since I just read online that goldfish can live 5-10 years.  Yikes.  In other way more exciting news… My dear friend Alisha, who lives way across the other side of Canada, is scheduled for a c-section tomorrow morning to deliver her 2nd daughter Chloe, and if you all could say a little prayer for her and baby Chloe for a safe arrival I would much appreciate it.  Alisha has been such a trooper through this pregnancy with all the fears and anxiety that go along with pregnancy after pre-eclampsia, I am just so thankful and happy for her that she has gone FULL TERM PE-Free with this baby!!!!  She has beaten the odds and won the race!  Way to go girl!

March 22, 2007 at 10:22 pm 2 comments

I Concur

AN OPEN LETTER TO
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.
February 6, 2007

Dear Mr. Thatcher,I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features.  Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.  But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic.  I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher?  Ever suffered from “the curse”?  I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my “time of the month” is starting right now.  As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body.  Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.”  Isn’t the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers’ monthly visits from Aunt Flo.  Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women.  In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.  Crazy!  The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that
America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants.  Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a Happy Period.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness — actual smiling, laughing happiness — is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?  FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man.  If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like “Put Down the Hammer” or “Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong”?  Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere.  And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep.  Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

 I CAN’T AGREE MORE!!!!!!

March 19, 2007 at 4:55 pm 2 comments

5 DPO & Holiday Plans

First order of business. My temperature took four days to rise properly, it was the strangest thing. I know I ovulated on CD25 because of the cm dry up, cervix closed and came back down and I had ovulation pain. But then my temp went down lower the next day and then rose so slowly barely over the coverline for days. It’s now finally up to my usual levels. So we’re all good. I’m not holding out too much hope for this cycle but it would be wonderful to not have to go to the IUI next cycle. My only symptoms right now are crazy sore bb’s, tired, hungry and getting up in the night to pee.Now for the exciting part. We’re going on a trip! Now you probably don’t know this, but my husband and I have not been on a holiday since our honeymoon over six years ago. Nada. Nothing. Zero trips. We’ve been too busy saving our money and buying houses and being responsible. Not to mention this “baby” that we keep planning for that keeps us holding off on vacation plans. The “baby” that just isn’t coming. Everyone in our lives have been bugging us to take a trip. And we do need it, we’ve been so stressed lately with this whole conception struggle, and it would be fun to have Sweetlove experience an airplane ride.

So where are we going you ask? Well, my grandparents are snowbirds. They live up here with us in BC (Canada) and they spend the winters at their little old people resort in Arizona. They come home in April for the summer and go back in September for the winter. So we are flying to Phoenix to spend 10 days at their place in Sun City. It’s actually one of those resort type places on a golf course with swimming pools and hot tubs and golf carts everywhere. It is mostly empty in the warmer months because the snowbirds have flown home. So we have the place to ourselves! It will be a nice relaxing week of sunshine and swimming with Sweetlove, he’s such a little water baby. And it will be super cheap for us too, I got flights for 220 return for each of us and we don’t have to pay for accomodation so basically it’s just flights and food/entertainment while we’re there. I’m going to have to look into some fun places to take Sweetlove in Phoenix while we’re there. Our first family vacation, I can hardly wait! Oh, and we are going May 12 – 21. I am very proud of myself that I am throwing TTC out the window and just GOING no matter what my cycle is doing. We’ve waited long enough to do this.

March 16, 2007 at 3:57 pm 1 comment

Here I Am

I have arrived at wordpress.  My old blog can be found at www.awaitinganothermiracle.blogspot.com

March 15, 2007 at 3:54 pm Leave a comment

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