On the Verge

January 31, 2007 at 5:13 am 2 comments

Today is CD18 and my OPK’s are +. This is GOOD! My earliest ever ovulation is approaching and I am trying not to get too excited because excited for me equals anxious which equals stress and that usually means delayed ovulation for me. So….. without focusing on it too much, I am patiently trying to get through the next few days without a lot of thought on it, but lots of BD’ing. I am feeling ovulation cramps big time on and off all day today and yesterday, nausea on and off too, and a nagging headache. So I’m ready for this to be over and on to the 2ww. My last 2ww on clomid until I see the OB again and I’m sure he’s just going to refer me to an RE for official IF. I pray to God not to have to make that appointment, but chances are …. I’ll have to.

I have been taking something called organic maca root this cycle which is a root vegetable grown in peru that is supposed to help balance hormones and reproductive systems in both men and women. A is taking it too, for help with the spermies. I am attributing my early ovulation and amazing EWCM to this regimen, it’s all I’ve done different this month. And I’ve taken mucin.ex this past few days to help with the cm hostility – we’ll see how that goes. I tried the robi last month but the taste was too much for me, yecht. It was awful. So the mucin.ex is much better as its just tablets morning and night – so we’ll see.

So as with every cycle, once I can pinpoint “o” I look on my calendar for AF arrival (or NOT) and due dates. Turns out if I “o” tomorrow, I expect to see that lovely witch on friggin Valentine’s Day. And I can tell you, that will be one miserable V-day if she shows up. This is sort of my last cycle before we face reality so I am dreading my reaction to another BFN. Last month was so devastating, I hope I’m more numb to it this cycle. I walked around in a pathetic daze for three days last time, crying on and off, depressed, sad, hopeless. It hit me far worse than any other cycle has and I’m going to try not to allow myself to reach those lows again, if I can help it. But… I am also going to try to think positive and maybe this V-day will be wonderful, I can give my husband his v-day card with a lovely note about my gift being making him a father again. I can’t say express much I would love that opportunity. It’s time.


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Sassy McSasserson  |  January 31, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    I really, really hope it works for you Jen! Best of luck. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!

  • 2. Anonymous  |  February 3, 2007 at 2:43 am

    I really hope you get your BFP this month!!
    I am praying hard that you and I BOTH get our BFP’S!!!
    Keep your chin up as hard as that is at times :))


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