One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

January 10, 2007 at 11:13 pm Leave a comment

So I went to the acupuncture appointment. I was friggin’ excited too, thinking this would be it. The answer to my prayers. My final frontier with fertility. Oh well. Wishful thinking?

The acu guy was alright, though I had to remind him that the antidepressant that I am taking for anxiety *is* an SSRI and he said, oh I thought it wasn’t, well I can’t give you the herbs then. They are contraindicated. The Traditional Chinese Medicine part of the Acupuncture? Kind of a big part of the equation. So I can’t partake in that… UNLESS I wean off the antidepressant and go to yoga! Oh, right! I didn’t think of that before, yoga would definitely be a good subsitute for my seratonin reuptake inhibitor. Seriously, this guy lost me completely at this moment. I wanted help with making a baby and I felt like I was being scolded for taking “western medicine” for solving my anxiety problems when a little yoga and meditation CD’s would obviously have the same effect. That was the beginning. And then he told me that I needed to take all carbs, sugars and dairy out of my diet. OK – but I am not paying you 80 bucks an hour to be my dietition. Then he said he wanted me to take 3-6 months off TTC and “balance my mind and body”, stop the clomid and do all the above. Um, no. Not that I said all that, just thought it to myself. So he put a needle in my forehead (ouch) one in each leg and one in my stomach. Didn’t say what the needles were doing, what they were for, what they were helping, nothing. He then turned on a “meditation” CD and left the room for a half hour. The needle in my forehead gave me a mass headache, I was nauseous and dizzy for the rest of the night.

I left there feeling pretty deflated. I know I have to make some changes to my diet again, I’ve gotten lazy. But the world didn’t populate to the trillions it has by cutting out carbs and diary, I know that much for sure. I am going to make some serious efforts to cut out the sugars and refined carbs, and eat less dairy, but focus more on eating more vegetables and lean proteins. And I’m going to take my last cycle of clomid.

So am I looking at all this the wrong way or what? I came out of there kind of pissed off actually, like I didn’t get what I thought I was going there for. And why do I always have to have some sort of special situation that makes everything more complicated (ie the SSRI). Agh. I don’t know. I was too upset last night to write about it, feeling more clear about things today.

11 DPO. My temps suck. Lowest post ovuation temps I’ve EVER had charting. Wicked. My back hurts and my boobs are killing me and I’m moody as hell.

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