A New Year

January 2, 2007 at 10:00 pm Leave a comment

At midnight on December 31st, I found myself kissing my husband, looking into his eyes (trying to ignore the mustache and mullet he was wearing as part of the 80’s costume party) and realized how very lucky I am to have all that I do. To be taken care of by a man who puts up with a LOT of emotional crap, appreciates who I am on my better days, and is a wonderful father who puts his family first 100% of the time. 2006 was a good year for us, overall – we remained healthy and financially secure, our families are getting along, no one got sick, we were lucky enough to welcome a new member to the family born in August; our friends are becoming more like us with families of their own and with more common ground to share. My job is secure, I have a flexible position that allows me the freedom to run home and be with my son when necessary and escape to my many doctor appointments at a moment’s notice. We are blessed. At the end of the day though, our family is not complete. There is (at least) one member missing and that twinkle in my eye is beginning to actually hurt. OK, it’s been hurting for a while now, who am I kidding. L has started to ASK us for a baby brother or sister now. I sure hope 2007 is the year we are able to realize that dream. But my New Year’s resolution (if you can call it that) is to ensure that not a moment goes by that we aren’t living in the moment of our blessings by getting too caught up with what we DON’T have, rather than focusing on being happy for what we do have. Giving Luka the kind of childhood I want for him is NOT going to be interrupted by our struggles for another child. I am quite good at keeping my emotional outlet from overflowing until L is in bed, but it’s the physical part of this that is harder to ignore. And I can assume if I have to go injectibles route it will only get worse. I will dig as deep as I can to ensure L doesn’t feel any of this, that he doesn’t ever know of our private battle for a sibling for him, for another child for us, and that by the time he is old enough to figure it out, it will be a non-issue. Our family will be complete.

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