11 DPO

December 4, 2006 at 11:15 pm 8 comments

This is a picture of L. from last Christmas, what a little peanut he was! Oh, how time is flying. We had a fantastic weekend, putting up Christmas decorations, the lights, the tree, wrapping presents, I am so organized this year! I can only attribute it to little L’s excitement – he brings out the child in us! I am trying to keep busy to keep my mind off the fact that I am 11 dpo today. Symptoms I’m having include very sore bb’s, backache, sensitive teeth, headache, tired, nightsweats (must be the clomid?), hungry like a wolf, cramps on and off since O, and did I mention tired? I could sleep forever and a day right now. Pretty much like every other month but everything seems to be enhanced; I’m sure its from the clomid though – that’s what I’ve read too, it seems to make all the PMS symptoms more extreme. I am just sort of expecting BFN this month so I don’t get overly disappointed again. I’m expecting this to be the worst BFN of all months. Just because now that I’m on clomid, it feels like if I can’t get pregnant on clomid then there must REALLY be something wrong with me. And what’s the next step after clomid… serious infertility treatments. That scares me. It seems the farther down the line we go with this, the more we have invested in time, energy, emotion, etc., and it adds up and adds up and the let down is that much farther of a fall. Why does this have to be so hard. I already have a nightmare pregnancy to look forward to, why does the actual conceiving part have to suck so bad too?
I’ve agreed to take care of my good friend G’s little six week old baby boy on Thursday night… the same day AF is due. So either it will be comforting or torture. I’m going with comforting though because being around newborns is pretty much my favorite place in the world. It will be her first time away from little Aidan so I feel honored that she chose me to take care of him; I know how precious a little baby is to his mommy and to know that she trusts me that much is very special. Especially considering she has a ton of family around to choose from! I must remember to tell her how much it means to me. I am so looking forward to spending some time with him, and for G to spend a night out with her hubby, she needs that too.

Anyways, I’ll update again with either a BFN or a BFP. I could use some prayers for the latter.
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7 DPO 12 DPO

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