Archive for November, 2006

Beware: Whiny Post Ahead

I am struggling with my emotional stability this cycle, really I am. I have not felt so unsettled in a long time. Starting to think the anxiety and the stress of being on clomid might be more than I can handle. I had no idea it would be this much of a hurdle. How can five little tiny pills affect your live so entirely? I didn’t really feel the side effects until ovulation approached. And I’m not even sure ovulation has happened; I’ve still got EWCM and my temps aren’t all that high yet. We’ve been BD’ing like rabbits for weeks and we’re so tired of it, really. I’ve had pretty severe cramping for five days now, the runs, emotional (teary), terrible insomnia and the “jitters”, let us not also forget the migraine I had last week. Argh. I miss *myself*.

When the TTC process starts to impede the rest of my life is when I start to feel guilty. Like after work this week I have just wanted to crawl in bed and hide but I have a two year old son who wants his mama to play trucks with him and so I do, but he can sense I’m not myself. I can’t be the best mom, best wife or best employee when I feel like this much crap. I can’t really be good at anything. I can barely stand myself.

Let this 2ww be less horrendous than I have a feeling it might be, please!

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November 24, 2006 at 7:10 pm 1 comment

Finally. A Week Overdue, But I’ll Take It.

Got my + OPK today, which is day 19 of my cycle, meaning I’ll ovulate on day 20 – meaning clomid helped me “o” a week early. I would have loved to “o” on day 14 but hey, I’ll take what I can get. Maybe next month will be earlier. Geez, shows how much faith I’ve got in this month – already planning next month.

As for side effects, they’ve been baaaadddddd these last few days. I knew I was coming up to ovulation because I have horrendously sore bb’s, headache, backache, moody, teary and worst of all – a new symptom (side effect of the clomid) terrible ovulation pains for the past two days. Pretty much non-stop, I actually came home from work early today. I didn’t want to take any advil (just in case) so I just layed down for the afternoon and wallowed in my sad, teary crampiness. I am so grumpy, I can barely stand myself.

November 22, 2006 at 2:36 am Leave a comment

The Damn FM Tricked Me.

It is now CD15 and I’m really getting frustrated. My fertility monitor has given me an “ovulation confirmed” message – which is totally crap because I am getting increasing amounts of EWCM since and I have not gotten a + OPK. So the monitor is useless to me now because it’s decided I’ve already ovulated and isn’t analyzing my readings properly anymore. We are going to continue BD’ing every other day until I get the + OPK and then every day until a sustained temp rise. I feel like I am getting a bit crazy about waiting for this egg to drop and maybe the stress of it will delay the whole friggin’ thing. Argh. I really expect I will O soon though, all the signs are there, but if I get to CD20 and still no O then that means the clomid didn’t work and I’ll be back to this next month, I just know it.

I have been having some breakthrough anxiety over the past few days, not sure if its from the clomid or the stress of waiting to see if this clomid will work.

November 17, 2006 at 9:50 pm Leave a comment

I’m Fertile! I’m Fertile! Yesssssssssssssssss!

Ok, so today is cycle day 8. And I have great news. I got a FERTILE READING on my monitor today!!! Cue Peak Found! It is even predicting max fertility is day 13! Ummmm, I normally ovulate on CD27 for those of you not in the know. Clomid is going to be my HERO if it makes me ovulate like a normal person (and allow me a pregnancy). I thought no friggin way 50 mg of clomid was going to normalize my cycle this fast. Or maybe its a mean trick by the monitor ~~~ in any case, I’m doing the happy dance and we gotta start the BD action on Sunday night! Yes!

November 11, 2006 at 2:32 am 1 comment

Blah

Feeling blah. Four clomid pills down the hatch, one more to take tonight. The only real side effect I’ve had so far is wacky temps. They are so high. At least that shows its doing something right? I just want to be p.r.e.g.n.a.n.t. That’s it. Knocked up. With Child. In the Family Way. Preggers. Bun Oven’d. Expecting. Pleasssssssseeeeeeeeeeee Gooooooooddddddddddddd. Let this cycle be the last one.

November 10, 2006 at 2:51 am Leave a comment

Clomid… one down, four to go.

I took my first clomid pill last night. I did not follow the doctor’s instructions to take it days 5-9, so I’m taking it days 3-7 instead hoping for more follicles (since I already ovulate) and want to boost what I’m already ovulating. I haven’t felt any different really today. Well unless you count barking at my husband for menial stupid things more than once today as “moody” then I guess I am that. But how do you ever know if it is on account of the clomid or just an annoying husband?

November 7, 2006 at 2:48 am Leave a comment

Here we go again…

Cycle day 2. Meaning last month was a bust. I am getting surprisingly used to these BFN’s. I filled my Rx for Clomid and I am starting in three days. I am excited. I hope it works. I just want to ovulate earlier than day 26! I really think that is the cause of the problem, my eggs are geriatric by the time they meet DH’s swimmers. I did the NPC this month and I felt great on it. It did give me tons of back pain, bb’s very sore and moody… hey wait, why did I feel great on it? Oh yeah… no anxiety. And no migraine! Until yesterday anyway. Who knows, but it did extend my LP by one full day so that’s good. And from what I’ve read, the PMS will get better within a few months on the NPC, it just takes a few months for your body to get back in balance. At least that’s what I’m hoping.

And here’s why I am doing all of this again…

November 4, 2006 at 3:26 pm Leave a comment


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