Belly Envy

October 10, 2006 at 5:08 am Leave a comment

We stopped by our best “couple” friends’ tonight to see their new place, drop off an orchid plant and card (congrats on the house), and to see her one last time before she delivers her baby. She’s due on Friday. She’s one of those annoying pregnant women who feels great, looks great and is about to deliver and NEVER complains. I hate it, I want to kill her. Plus she got pregnant right away and we started trying at the same time. *big sigh*

So she shows me around her house and we come apon the nursery. All painted green with the cute bedding and white net over the crib, diapers in a row, baby clothes hung up by size in the closet. It about did me in. The ache in my heart was so deep I about lost it. I am so happy for her, she’s going to be a great mom. I just know what she’s about to embark on, and I know she’s in for the ride of her life, for the love of her life, for the most incredible moments she’ll never forget. I have been there… well sort of, in a hellish, unstable, hazy sort of way. I don’t remember much of the first few days from all the drugs, and the first few months were full of overwhelming panic but through all of that, rose a love of a lifetime and those moonlight feedings when the rest of the world sleeps are so sacred, it can’t be described.

One day that will be me, well – in a big, swollen, high risk kind of way — it will be me. And worth every second of every ache and pain. If I know only one thing, I know that.

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Thankful Clomid

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